Thursday, December 5, 2013

Please Excuse Me




Some of you already know that I lost my Father a few weeks ago, but most of you probably did not know and may have been wondering where I have been. Well, here I am, sitting in this fog of grief.

Even though my Dad's death was expected, this is so hard, I never imagined how hard it could or would be, especially for this Daddy's Girl. I am finding it hard to function other than just going through the motions of my day to day life. I put on a good front that I am ok, but deep down inside I constantly ache. I struggle to remember simple things, let alone put two sentences together in some semblance of coherency. So bare with me, please, as I struggle my way back into the land of the living. I know that I am capable, strong, and resilient, I just need time.

It would be very easy to just lie in bed, pull the covers over my head and let the world go by, but my dad would come back from the afterlife and really let me have it. I know that he would want me to go on—to live my life. Isn't that what the grieving process is about, learning to live my life, not without my dad, but with him in my memories, in the traditions and love that I pass on to my children and grandchildren, and especially through the love that I still feel for my dad.

But where do I start, how do I find my way out of this grief, my way through the holidays without my father, and the strength to help my mother, siblings, and my children do the same.

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4

I certainly don't feel blessed because I am mourning. I took a hard look at the last part of the verse: "for they shall be comforted." That means God will provide comfort when I'm hurting so badly I feel like I can't take another breath. He will sustain me and carry me through this time. He will provide what I need.  So I go to Him for my comfort and am blessed for it.  And I'm truly blessed for having had a father who taught me to turn to God for my needs and comfort.

So please excuse me while I take some time to grieve the loss of my Dad.  I will still post periodically, when I feel inspired, and hope to once again be filling these pages with vintage cheer very soon.


9 comments:

  1. I am very sorry for your loss I lost my dad and know how hard it is

    kate

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  2. Oh, Denise!! I am so sorry to hear of your loss! I know exactly what you mean and I know the hurt. No matter how old or how young you are, when you lose a parent it is heartbreaking. I'm not going to say it's going to be okay, because that was the last thing I wanted to hear. I wish I could give you the biggest of hugs right now.

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  3. My thoughts are with you. I lost my Dad 21 years ago and at the time lots of people said to me "you will be OK, time heals". Frankly I thought they were full of it and wished for them to just go away and leave me alone to cry. But it is true, it gets easier. You just need to keep on keeping on. And you will because you are strong and have lovely memories to sustain you.

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  4. You are not alone. Just take each day and moment as the come. Its okay to be in a fog for a while or a long while. Grieve the way you need to. You are blessed with a big loving family. Your daddy will always be with you and he lives in your and your children/granchildren. Lots of hugs-D

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  5. I am so sorry for your loss! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. *cyber hug*

    Deborah

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  6. I'm so sorry. I'll be able to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

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  7. My dear friend, with all my heart, I am so tremendously sorry for your loss. We lost Tony's mother (my MIL) quite suddenly from a stroke this year in September and are still grieving her passing as the year winds down, so I (and especially Tony) can relate to what you're experiencing. Please know that I'm always here for you if you ever need anyone to talk to.

    Countless gentle hugs,
    ♥ Jessica

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  8. I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. Matthew 5 is one of my favorite Bible chapters; Jesus' words always comfort me and give me hope.
    Lots of hugs, CoriLynn

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